the next best boyfriend

I envy everyone who is in a happy relationship. There’s nothing better than holding your sweetheart in your arms after a hard day’s work and spending quality time with him/her.

In my circle of friends, many are already taken or married. Unfortunately, they are often dissatisfied with what they have. I don’t know what the reason is, but they often long for a supposedly „better“ boyfriend.

One who is even more beautiful, more spontaneous, maybe more sensitive than the one they already have. Man is never satisfied with what he/she already has. You try to change your partner, dress him/her in expensive outfits, persuade him/her to shave off the beard because it looks unkempt, or wish that your sweetheart would come with you to a soccer match so that you would be well received by your friends.

I am of the opinion that one should accept the partner as he/she is with all the associated quirks. And do not try to change him/her. That brings nothing and is actually pure egoism. Likewise the tip of Jet-Lag Lady „Irina Beller“:

The guy must give the woman everything, only so he remains interesting for her.

Honestly: WTF ? How ridiculous! If you are looking for a golddigger or a sugardaddy, you will have fun at the beginning, but honestly: Who wants to get everything in his ass all his life, but doesn’t want to make anything out of his life without having to bend a finger for it ?

It’s sad to see how some couples try to change each other or then cheat on their partner because he/she can’t satisfy them. Instead of just realizing how great their partner actually is and they should appreciate how valuable such a relationship can be. One always wants something better, bigger than the other. Or then there are such couples who compare themselves with others. Kindergarten. You don’t need that!

Singles like me desire this type of relationship. Breakfast together in bed. Someone who can make you laugh or cry or even argue, really argue and then reconcile… and the make-u sex… is something great, isn’t it ? Oh, you couples… you don’t even know how great YOU have it. 

Here are a few ground rules to refresh your relationship:

1 – Listen & talk to each other: I tell my friends all the time: it’s important in a relationship that you talk and respond to each other.  Sometimes all your partner wants is for you to lend a sympathetic ear and respond to their problems with understanding.  Recognize what your partner wants and try to provide it.

2 – Don’t use direct speech: Try to keep phrases like „you should“ or „you can’t“ out of your relationship. You and your partner are equals and neither of you should have the authority to give orders to the other. Make your expectations clear. If you expect something from your partner, say so. Don’t expect him to read your mind and don’t rely on hints. Clearly stating what you want gives your partner a fair chance to meet your expectations.

3 – Say „please“ and „thank you“ : You should be able to relax in the presence of your partner, yet you should not display unacceptable manners. This also requires you to ask nicely and express your gratitude when your partner does something for you – don’t just assume they know how you meant it.

4 – Arguing okay, but fair: Don’t forget all your good communication skills during an argument. Try to state your opinion in a loving, respectful way that is not meant to hurt your partner. If he yells and insults you, calmly ask for a more level-headed attitude.

5 – Laugh & have fun together: Laugh at each other with the awareness of your mutual love. Laughing moves the world forward and it could do the same for your partnership.

Affection, closeness and space: There is a difference between „knowing“ that you are loved and „feeling“ that you are loved.

6 – Closeness: Do something for your partner that you know they will really appreciate. It doesn’t always have to be an expensive gift. Diamonds, fur coat or money doesn’t matter here. Remember your first date, where you met… it’s often the little things that count and can surprise someone.

7 – Space: everyone needs their privacy and some freedom, so don’t constantly monitor everything he/she does. Everyone hates to be monitored, constrained and controlled. Anabsolute NO-GO !!! Never spy on him/her (by searching his/her cell phone, following him/her on Facebook).hide and seek: especially do not hide your feelings towards him/her and the relationship – whether they are good or bad. Play with your cards on the table. Tell him/her what is bothering you and talk it out.

8 – Date: Going on dates, even if you’ve been in a relationship for years, is still important. How about a picnic together at Lake Zurich ? Or go hiking or dancing at the Hive or sing together at a karaoke bar. Be creative!

9 – Conclusion: Cobbler stick to your last! – You have a partner who loves and adores you. Then stick to it. Why look for another, better one if there is already someone waiting for you at home who loves you with all his heart ?

Enjoy it and spend unforgettable beautiful moments together. That’s all you need.

Enjoy, xo Glenn

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